Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Its like this was written from my own mind
Found this on the interwebs today. I was inspired. i can read picture on VisualizeUs
Monday, May 9, 2011
Solara, for President of the United Sates of America
Wrapping up a wonderful Mother's Day dinner with some lemon meringue pie early yesterday evening and 6 year old Solara sparks an interesting conversation out of the blue. "I want to be the President when I grow up." Well, now. That is entirely possible, thinking to myself. She promptly adds her 3 rules and laws during her presidency. In her exact words....
#1. You will be allowed to jump on the bed.
#2. You can make a mess and you don't have to clean it up. You can just step over it in the little spaces on the floor.
and last, but not least.....
#3. You can make anything [to eat] you want, even if its disgusting and even if you don't know how to bake.
Little does she know how her rules convey to the world, my excellent parenting skills.
#1. (You will be allowed to jump on the bed.) This says I am protective of my children and care about their safety and well being. Jumping on the bed is extremely dangerous and will 99% of the time result in injury that may or may not include impalement of a small toy.
#2. (You can make a mess and you don't have to clean it up. You can just step over it in the little spaces on the floor.) This says not only do I value the safety of my children, but their over-all hygiene as well. Tidy rooms prevent spaces for critters to hide, injuries from tripping, and impalements from jumping on the bed.
#3. (You can make anything [to eat] you want, even if its disgusting and even if you don't know how to bake.) This says that as a parent, I may be cautious and over protective of my children, being a little adventurous is beneficial. You may think you cannot do things, but try it anyhow. You just may find that you like it or you may realize you have a talent for something you never knew you were capable of.
I didn't receive a bunch of expensive store bought gifts for Mother's day this year. (or any year.)I actually cooked and cleaned and did laundry, just like any other day. What I did get was the help and love of a good man, some beautiful handmade gifts from the kids, and an excellent perspective and recognition of my mothering. I hope all you Mommies out there felt the love of your children yesterday. That is truly what the Mother's Day is about.
CHEERS!
#1. You will be allowed to jump on the bed.
#2. You can make a mess and you don't have to clean it up. You can just step over it in the little spaces on the floor.
and last, but not least.....
#3. You can make anything [to eat] you want, even if its disgusting and even if you don't know how to bake.
Little does she know how her rules convey to the world, my excellent parenting skills.
#1. (You will be allowed to jump on the bed.) This says I am protective of my children and care about their safety and well being. Jumping on the bed is extremely dangerous and will 99% of the time result in injury that may or may not include impalement of a small toy.
#2. (You can make a mess and you don't have to clean it up. You can just step over it in the little spaces on the floor.) This says not only do I value the safety of my children, but their over-all hygiene as well. Tidy rooms prevent spaces for critters to hide, injuries from tripping, and impalements from jumping on the bed.
#3. (You can make anything [to eat] you want, even if its disgusting and even if you don't know how to bake.) This says that as a parent, I may be cautious and over protective of my children, being a little adventurous is beneficial. You may think you cannot do things, but try it anyhow. You just may find that you like it or you may realize you have a talent for something you never knew you were capable of.
I didn't receive a bunch of expensive store bought gifts for Mother's day this year. (or any year.)I actually cooked and cleaned and did laundry, just like any other day. What I did get was the help and love of a good man, some beautiful handmade gifts from the kids, and an excellent perspective and recognition of my mothering. I hope all you Mommies out there felt the love of your children yesterday. That is truly what the Mother's Day is about.
CHEERS!
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
FYI: Its NOT Wednesday
This would have been useful to me in the middle of the freak out I had this morning when thinking of all the shit I had to do today, thinking it was, in fact, Wednesday. I was overwhelmed to say the least. Took the girls to school (kicking and screaming practically). Solara must have asked me 4 times to check her forehead to make sure she was not running a fever. She was as cool as a cucumber but about as annoying as a fire ant bite between your toes. I dropped them off and headed to meet my gal for breakfast at Empire Bagel. Go there. Eat an Everything bagel, toasted, with ham, egg and cheese. Its so awesome, you'll wanna slap yo momma and thank me later. Quick trip to the dollar store for some bubble envelopes. Gotta mail something later.
Went home to get the stuff I needed to mail and prepare for the rest of what I thought was going to be a ridiculously busy afternoon. I soaked up as much time on Facebook as I could before my 2 year old could take over the computer. I thought that I would leave around 1ish. The girls had back to back dentist appointments at 3 so I had to get them from school by 2. But on the way I had to stop for gas, drop package at the post office and go by Tammy's to pick something up. After the dentist (still thinking its wednesday)The girls had back to back soccer practices. I will have to squeeze food and homework in here somewhere. Them home for showers and night time bed/g-tube feeding routines. And then I look at my calendar. Dentist is on Tuesday. Look at the computer and notice the date was the 3rd and it was Tuesday!!! YAY!! Now I can at least eliminate the soccer practices which is about 2 hours of crying children coupled with being eaten alive by gnats. I get to save that wonderfulness for tomorrow!!
I stopped to get gas first because it was first on my way. I was almost empty and have a field trip to go on to Myrtle Beach tomorrow, I gotta fill 'er up. To avoid the probable panic attack of watching the gas price roll over, I decided to dispose of some trash collecting in the van while the pump did its thing. During my hunt for garbage, I found a petrified waffle, 4 corn pops and some unidentified crumbs between the booster seats. $63 later, I am on my way to the post office.
SIKE! (yes, I did just say sike) I drove right by the damn post office! Screw it. I do not have time to turn around. I made it to Tammy's and I can talk to this woman forever. I almost did. I looked at the clock and had 3 minutes to make it to the school by 2 and I was still 10 minutes away. Still made it to the dentist on time though.
The dentist was a complete nightmare. 3 unruly children who would not listen to a damn word I said, in a 12x12 waiting room of about 10 chairs, with a woman who insisted on repeatedly telling my children to behave because the tooth fairy was watching them. I called Steven and told him to come get the baby on his way home because this was all to much for me to handle in such a small space. I really wanted to knock that woman's teeth out. I knew this trip was not gonna be awesome. Solara & Jazz go back. The last time we went to a dentist, the jerk was not kid friendly and scared my kid so bad she pissed herself and I left in the middle of the exam. So it has been some time trying to get them into a dentist. They are definitely traumatized. Solara flipped the hell out. She sounded like a fire truck from the waiting room. She sounded off for a good 20 minutes and then it was quiet. I figured she either passed out from screaming, or they knocked her out with some sort of blunt object. 10 minutes later, she came out bouncing and happy with her bag of goodies and zero cavities. Never did get her x-rays done though. Jazzmin's turn! apparently she was more hesitant than Solara was. Hard to believe because I didn't hear a peep outta her. Her mouth is very small and they couldn't get x-rays done. She fought them about getting in the chair. She has 8 cavities and is being sent to a pediatric sedation dentist because she is just not gonna have anything to do with this dentist business.
Got home and fought with the children for over an hour about doing homework, ate pizza and got our nightly routine started. After the kids were all in bed, I had to get out of the house. I needed a donut. Ok, so I needed a whole bunch of donuts. Whatever. After wondering around Walmart for an hour, I had acquired a cart full of randomness.9 Krispy Kreme donuts (they only had boxes of 9, not 12 WTF is that bullshit?!), a wonderful new flavor of oreo's (creamsicle limited edition!!) 4 light switch covers, spray paint, spray adhesive, sauerkraut, black acrylic paint, pork chops, tomato paste and laundry soap. You know, the normal essentials. At the check out I realize my credit card is in the fucking van from when I stopped to get gas. I guess I was distracted by all the science projects I discovered in my backseat and forgot to put it back in my wallet. This cashier is like "I guess you better run". I am fat. I do not run. If a dog or a tiger is chasing me, I am not running. I am just gonna lie on the ground and hope he doesn't gnaw on me too bad. Feeling the pressure of the sighing customers (aka soon to be angry mob if I don't hurry my fat ass up cause there is only 2 lines open)I jogged and jiggled to the van and made it back just as she was putting my bags in my cart. Breathing was burning my lungs. I made it to the car without passing out. On the way home, I fist pumped wildly with my left arm out the window as I listened to Ke$ha (Blow) and Brittany Spears (Till the World Ends) as loud as my little speakers would go.
I was torn between the oreos and the donuts when I got home. I went for the donuts because they were my reason for going to the store anyhow. I needed some donuts. But thanks to the douchebag cashier who made me run to my car, I was nauseous and did not enjoy my donuts. Bitch.
Theres always tomorrow.
Went home to get the stuff I needed to mail and prepare for the rest of what I thought was going to be a ridiculously busy afternoon. I soaked up as much time on Facebook as I could before my 2 year old could take over the computer. I thought that I would leave around 1ish. The girls had back to back dentist appointments at 3 so I had to get them from school by 2. But on the way I had to stop for gas, drop package at the post office and go by Tammy's to pick something up. After the dentist (still thinking its wednesday)The girls had back to back soccer practices. I will have to squeeze food and homework in here somewhere. Them home for showers and night time bed/g-tube feeding routines. And then I look at my calendar. Dentist is on Tuesday. Look at the computer and notice the date was the 3rd and it was Tuesday!!! YAY!! Now I can at least eliminate the soccer practices which is about 2 hours of crying children coupled with being eaten alive by gnats. I get to save that wonderfulness for tomorrow!!
I stopped to get gas first because it was first on my way. I was almost empty and have a field trip to go on to Myrtle Beach tomorrow, I gotta fill 'er up. To avoid the probable panic attack of watching the gas price roll over, I decided to dispose of some trash collecting in the van while the pump did its thing. During my hunt for garbage, I found a petrified waffle, 4 corn pops and some unidentified crumbs between the booster seats. $63 later, I am on my way to the post office.
SIKE! (yes, I did just say sike) I drove right by the damn post office! Screw it. I do not have time to turn around. I made it to Tammy's and I can talk to this woman forever. I almost did. I looked at the clock and had 3 minutes to make it to the school by 2 and I was still 10 minutes away. Still made it to the dentist on time though.
The dentist was a complete nightmare. 3 unruly children who would not listen to a damn word I said, in a 12x12 waiting room of about 10 chairs, with a woman who insisted on repeatedly telling my children to behave because the tooth fairy was watching them. I called Steven and told him to come get the baby on his way home because this was all to much for me to handle in such a small space. I really wanted to knock that woman's teeth out. I knew this trip was not gonna be awesome. Solara & Jazz go back. The last time we went to a dentist, the jerk was not kid friendly and scared my kid so bad she pissed herself and I left in the middle of the exam. So it has been some time trying to get them into a dentist. They are definitely traumatized. Solara flipped the hell out. She sounded like a fire truck from the waiting room. She sounded off for a good 20 minutes and then it was quiet. I figured she either passed out from screaming, or they knocked her out with some sort of blunt object. 10 minutes later, she came out bouncing and happy with her bag of goodies and zero cavities. Never did get her x-rays done though. Jazzmin's turn! apparently she was more hesitant than Solara was. Hard to believe because I didn't hear a peep outta her. Her mouth is very small and they couldn't get x-rays done. She fought them about getting in the chair. She has 8 cavities and is being sent to a pediatric sedation dentist because she is just not gonna have anything to do with this dentist business.
Got home and fought with the children for over an hour about doing homework, ate pizza and got our nightly routine started. After the kids were all in bed, I had to get out of the house. I needed a donut. Ok, so I needed a whole bunch of donuts. Whatever. After wondering around Walmart for an hour, I had acquired a cart full of randomness.9 Krispy Kreme donuts (they only had boxes of 9, not 12 WTF is that bullshit?!), a wonderful new flavor of oreo's (creamsicle limited edition!!) 4 light switch covers, spray paint, spray adhesive, sauerkraut, black acrylic paint, pork chops, tomato paste and laundry soap. You know, the normal essentials. At the check out I realize my credit card is in the fucking van from when I stopped to get gas. I guess I was distracted by all the science projects I discovered in my backseat and forgot to put it back in my wallet. This cashier is like "I guess you better run". I am fat. I do not run. If a dog or a tiger is chasing me, I am not running. I am just gonna lie on the ground and hope he doesn't gnaw on me too bad. Feeling the pressure of the sighing customers (aka soon to be angry mob if I don't hurry my fat ass up cause there is only 2 lines open)I jogged and jiggled to the van and made it back just as she was putting my bags in my cart. Breathing was burning my lungs. I made it to the car without passing out. On the way home, I fist pumped wildly with my left arm out the window as I listened to Ke$ha (Blow) and Brittany Spears (Till the World Ends) as loud as my little speakers would go.
I was torn between the oreos and the donuts when I got home. I went for the donuts because they were my reason for going to the store anyhow. I needed some donuts. But thanks to the douchebag cashier who made me run to my car, I was nauseous and did not enjoy my donuts. Bitch.
Theres always tomorrow.
Sunday, May 1, 2011
New Post (by popular demand)
So not so many words with this one, but here are some photos of the ideal look for the wedding. Enjoy!
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