No drum roll please. My ex-husband is THE douchey-est of all the douchebags. Here's a few facts about this so-called "man"
1. He is 31.
2. Balding.
3. Slightly overweight (in the form of beer gut fashion)
4. Probably unemployed (again)
5. In various Metal Bands, convinced he will someday be a rockstar.
6. Is in debt of over $7,000 in child support, it will be $8,119 after May 1st.
I could go on and on about him, seriously. I think my fingers might fall off from all the hate typing.
I call him the "Holiday Dad". He ONLY ever calls or sees the kids on a holiday.
Lets back up to our last telephone conversation. February 24, 2011 approximately 1 o'clock ish in the morning. He calls to check on our youngest (my youngest is not his, but the older 2 share his stupid fucking DNA). She had to stay up all night that night for a sleep deprived EEG test in the morning. Mind you, keeping a 6 year old awake for 24 hours was an adventure. The only reason he was even calling was because I felt obligated to call him and let him know that she was having seizure-type symptoms and needed this test and I thought he should be aware of it since the last time he called was her birthday (3 weeks before). Anyhoo, back to the conversation at 1 am. We were in the middle of a game called Headbands when he called. He asked to speak to her. He talked to her for like maybe a minute and then asked to speak to me. Remember now, Its like almost 1:30 in the morning. He said it sounded like we were having fun and asked to come and hang out. Um, noooo. WTF?! I politely said that Steven and I were ok, we were doing fine keeping her awake. He got so irritated when I said no. Kept telling me it was fucked up. She was his daughter and I wasn't allowing him to come see her. I said this was my and Steven's home and I didn't feel comfortable with him just hanging out. I surely didn't want to make Steven uncomfy. Why is it so important now to come see her at 1 in the morning but not so much as call for weeks at a time?! We have been divorced for almost 5 years now. We are less than friendly to each other because he is such a fucking douchebag, as I mentioned before. He went in to this maniacal rage telling me I was an unfit mother, he could prove it. His family didn't understand why he hasn't taken them from me. Steven is not their dad. Blah blah blah, the next time I hear from him it will be from his lawyer. I laughed and said oh really, so you can afford to pay for a lawyer, but you cannot pay your child support? Which by the way, court is in 2 weeks. He replied that he had yet to be served and he doesn't have to go as long as they don't serve him with papers. I hung up on him. Court date came and went, he was not served. Big shocker there.
Easter!!! Guess who is ringing the phone, interrupting my lovely dinner with my soon to be in-laws? Oh no, it is NOT the douchebag's lawyer, it is the douchebag himself!! I sent the call to the voicemail. He called again, again I sent it to voicemail. Sorry Holiday Dad!! He does not leave a message. He didn't call back until we were in the car on the way home and I answered. He asked what I was doing and I told him I was driving home. Then he asks if there is any way he can speak to the girls and tell them happy easter. I wanted to say no, but I am just not that person. I try to be, but my heart breaks for my children and I never want to ever be the reason they were not able to have a relationship with their father. He talks to them and tells them how much he misses and loves them and promises of a visit sometime soon. I wonder if allowing him to do this is harming them in the long run.
Our oldest cries and asks me why her daddy doesn't come to see her. I never bad mouth him around them. I feel like they can make their own assumptions and conclusions of his level of douchebagginess all on there own, when they are older. I tell her that he loves her. I am sure that he misses her. I also tell her that sometimes being a daddy is hard for some people and they really try, but its just not what they are best at. What the fuck else am I supposed to tell her?!?!?! Is that wrong? Our youngest (my middle child) was not even 2 when he left us. She does not have the emotional impact of his absence that my oldest does. At least, I cannot tell if she does.
More history...he cannot keep a job to save his life. Not a joke. There were 2 years where I counted a total of over 40 some jobs he had. 40!!! Those were the ones I could remember. Its never his fault when he loses a job. Most popular excuse :I got laid off. Next, is my boss was a dick. and every other excuse had something to the effect of missing to much time because he was sick. Yeah. He was sick alright. He would sleep all day and not get up and go to work. He stays up all night drinking, at band practice, looking at internet porn or whatever until his hand hurts or he passes out drunk or from exhaustion as the sun rises. I just recently found out he used our kids as an excuse not to go to work. A mutual friend's fiancée got him a sweet job with excellent benefits and pay. First day of work he does not show and calls around 1pm (when he woke up)and tells these people I dropped the kids off to him this weekend and never came back to get them. Get the fuck outta here!!!! I cannot believe the amount of assholery that comes flying out of his mouth sometimes. There are so many things wrong with what he said, I don't know where to start but here goes:
1. Since our divorce in 2006, the girls have stayed a total of 4 nights with him. Only one has been since the oldest has had her feeding tube (10/09) and none since the youngest has had her feeding tube (12/10)(all less than 24hr visits each time)
2. One of these nights was when I was in the hospital having my 3rd child via c-section. I got a call at 4 am from my ex (who was drunk!)and his other baby momma, drunk, screaming in the background. He said I needed to come get the kids. I was in the hospital! I just gave birth for Christ's sake!! The kids told me the screaming woke them up and didn't want to go back over there anymore.
3. My children do NOT stay anywhere but in MY care. I would never drop them off with him, and the unsavory characters hew chooses to surround himself with for days at a time. I have made the decision a year ago that he will never visit with them unattended by me, or outside of my home.
For the record, he would not even know what to do with them. They both have feeding tubes with strict schedules, take gobs of meds and I wouldn't trust him with a sack of fucking rotten potatoes. And, he has never given either of them a bath, not even as infants, since the day they were born. Yeah, and he is gonna take them from me. What a douchebag.
So, we have another court date scheduled for next month. I do not care if he shows or if he ever pays another dime. I am kinda hoping he wont. NC law states if he has gone 12 months without supporting, he has legally abandoned them. I would seriously tell a judge right now, to forgive the 7 grand he owes if he would agree to terminate his parental rights. He offered to do it a few years ago just to get out of having to pay, but I didn't want to just let him off the hook. We do not have a custody agreement legally. There was really no question of who would care for them. When he left he said he couldn't take care of himself so he couldn't take care of a family either, and that I should find someone else to do that for me. Capital DOUCHE to the bag.
So far we are on 5mos. (6mos come May 1st) with no support. I wish I had the money to hire an attorney. Wish in one hand, shit in the other. Who the hell came up with that saying? Disgusting. Like I am gonna really take a dump in my hand to find out.
OK, that is my ranting for the evening. Goodnight!!
Monday, April 25, 2011
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Why am I not in bed???
Because I have a spry little 2 year old who has decided it Thomas The Tank Engine Marathon night at my house. I am hoping she gives up soon because I am gonna need all the rest I can get for tomorrow.
Take the kids to school. This is an adventure in itself. I have to get 3 children up at 6, fed, dressed, lunched, backpacked and presentable for school and out the door by 7am. Sounds simple enough, right? WRONG! I am not getting up earlier than 6. I refuse. I will not be able to function properly the rest of the day. Jazzmin is only 8 and she is already sleeping her life away like the moody teenager she already has become. I spend at LEAST 20 minutes just telling her to get out of bed. Not to mention the 7,355,462 times I tell her to hurry up once we have gotten the beast to rise from her coma. All while I am trying to wake a 2 year old up and get her moving and fully awake so she doesn't puke mid commute to the school house. Then there is flushing of the connector tubes for the older two kids. Passing out meds to everyone. Helping Solara put her socks on and get her to quit crying because her socks don't "feel good" and trying to find her shoes. Once everyone is dressed we make sure we have lunches in the backpacks. Then we have to have a diaper bag packed with the essentials: sippy cup, diapers, wipes, change of clothes (in case of barfing episode), BOTH blankies and her favorite train, Lady. Lets hope I can find my keys and don't forget my cellphone. Out the door we go and into the minivan for our first of 2, hour and a half round trips. Lucky fiancée has charted off to work before we even get up. I am left to fend and referee alone.
Come home and probably eat something along the lines of a hostess cupcake and a glass of milk for breakfast. That what I did today, why fuck up a good thing. Then I am gonna make a mad dash to straighten up my house. I am just too pooped from the days activities to do it tonight. The med supply company is making a delivery tomorrow and there is never an estimated time of delivery. They just tell me what day they will be in the area and ask what they need to bring a week in advance. You would think that because I have had a week to prepare for someone coming to my house that I would have the place clean by now. HA! I always run out of time. But seriously, nothing gets my house clean quite like company coming over. Then I will have to rotate supplies and get things put up. Ahh who am I kidding. It will probably sit where he drops it till Thursday.
Gotta pick up the kids early because they both have an appointment with their GI Specialist, Dr. Freeman. Thank GOD she flies down once a month from Chapel Hill because monthly trips to UNC would make me lose my mind. I don't have much left to lose. This ought to be an interesting visit because Solara has to have her g-tube replaced (routinely changed every 3-4 months) for the first time and she is terrified. I didn't do it last time because 1. I forgot the damn replacement and B. we had been there for like 3 hours and I was just so ready to get home. Our appointments usually last about 3ish hours. 2 hours is just waiting time. Have I mentioned I am not very patient? All while keeping an 8, 6, & 2 year old entertained. Not easy. Keeping them quiet once the doc has come in is probably the hardest part. They have been caged in this 12x12 room for 2 hours and are on the brink of sibling homicide by the time she gets in. Its really not as fun as it sounds. Dr. Freeman usually calls for reinforcements from Nurses Deborah, Brenda, Cindy, Kim or whomever is handy to bring the children snacks to stuff in their mouths and keep them quiet.
Then somewhere between an estimated 3 hour visit that starts at 2:30 and soccer practices (45 minutes away) at 5:15 & 6 I will need to feed these by now unruly children. They aren't very patient people either. Hopefully by this time, my prince charming will have rode in on his white horse (ie his white ford mustang.... OK, ok, so its just a taurus. Sheesh!) and saved the day.
I am a supermom and I will make it happen.
Pray for my sanity tomorrow. Its going to be a loooooong day.
Take the kids to school. This is an adventure in itself. I have to get 3 children up at 6, fed, dressed, lunched, backpacked and presentable for school and out the door by 7am. Sounds simple enough, right? WRONG! I am not getting up earlier than 6. I refuse. I will not be able to function properly the rest of the day. Jazzmin is only 8 and she is already sleeping her life away like the moody teenager she already has become. I spend at LEAST 20 minutes just telling her to get out of bed. Not to mention the 7,355,462 times I tell her to hurry up once we have gotten the beast to rise from her coma. All while I am trying to wake a 2 year old up and get her moving and fully awake so she doesn't puke mid commute to the school house. Then there is flushing of the connector tubes for the older two kids. Passing out meds to everyone. Helping Solara put her socks on and get her to quit crying because her socks don't "feel good" and trying to find her shoes. Once everyone is dressed we make sure we have lunches in the backpacks. Then we have to have a diaper bag packed with the essentials: sippy cup, diapers, wipes, change of clothes (in case of barfing episode), BOTH blankies and her favorite train, Lady. Lets hope I can find my keys and don't forget my cellphone. Out the door we go and into the minivan for our first of 2, hour and a half round trips. Lucky fiancée has charted off to work before we even get up. I am left to fend and referee alone.
Come home and probably eat something along the lines of a hostess cupcake and a glass of milk for breakfast. That what I did today, why fuck up a good thing. Then I am gonna make a mad dash to straighten up my house. I am just too pooped from the days activities to do it tonight. The med supply company is making a delivery tomorrow and there is never an estimated time of delivery. They just tell me what day they will be in the area and ask what they need to bring a week in advance. You would think that because I have had a week to prepare for someone coming to my house that I would have the place clean by now. HA! I always run out of time. But seriously, nothing gets my house clean quite like company coming over. Then I will have to rotate supplies and get things put up. Ahh who am I kidding. It will probably sit where he drops it till Thursday.
Gotta pick up the kids early because they both have an appointment with their GI Specialist, Dr. Freeman. Thank GOD she flies down once a month from Chapel Hill because monthly trips to UNC would make me lose my mind. I don't have much left to lose. This ought to be an interesting visit because Solara has to have her g-tube replaced (routinely changed every 3-4 months) for the first time and she is terrified. I didn't do it last time because 1. I forgot the damn replacement and B. we had been there for like 3 hours and I was just so ready to get home. Our appointments usually last about 3ish hours. 2 hours is just waiting time. Have I mentioned I am not very patient? All while keeping an 8, 6, & 2 year old entertained. Not easy. Keeping them quiet once the doc has come in is probably the hardest part. They have been caged in this 12x12 room for 2 hours and are on the brink of sibling homicide by the time she gets in. Its really not as fun as it sounds. Dr. Freeman usually calls for reinforcements from Nurses Deborah, Brenda, Cindy, Kim or whomever is handy to bring the children snacks to stuff in their mouths and keep them quiet.
Then somewhere between an estimated 3 hour visit that starts at 2:30 and soccer practices (45 minutes away) at 5:15 & 6 I will need to feed these by now unruly children. They aren't very patient people either. Hopefully by this time, my prince charming will have rode in on his white horse (ie his white ford mustang.... OK, ok, so its just a taurus. Sheesh!) and saved the day.
I am a supermom and I will make it happen.
Pray for my sanity tomorrow. Its going to be a loooooong day.
Friday, April 15, 2011
The Death of Heirloom Television
I don't remember too many specific things from my childhood. I do remember VHS tapes piled on top the VCR, labeled "Soaps" in my mothers not so attractive handwriting. My mother was always a fan of daytime soap operas. Everyday she watched All My Children, One Life To Live and wrapped her drama filled afternoons up with General Hospital. When she couldn't be home to watch them, she recorded them on the VCR. It was awesome because she could fast forward through all the commercials. Ahh, the luxury. There were always 2 rules that pertained to my mother's belongings, that I can remember. Rule #1. Do NOT drink the last Pepsi in the fridge. It was my mom's and you were in big trouble if you did. (my mother to this day only drinks Pepsi & coffee). Rule #2. Do NOT record over her soaps.
I never realized how much I actually paid attention to my mom's soaps until I was an adult. They every so often do fashbacks on these shows and I will instantly remember an episode or a portion of a plot line from 20 years ago, and suddenly, this weeks plot line made complete sense. Its crazy.
These shows have been on for over 40 years and have brought laughter, tears, and heartache to women on a Monday through Friday basis, for generations. My mother has watched them all her life, not knowing how much she had paid attention to them as a child while her mother watched them. She grew up and continued to watch them. These Soaps have been handed down, like a piece of heirloom furniture, through 3 generations in my family. It was sure to be passed to a fourth generation. Brie would turn her head toward the television, as an infant, whenever the opening theme song to OLTL came on. Yesterday, my right to pass on this heirloom, this time honored female family tradition, was ripped right out from under me. There were no warnings. There were no online polls. Just a matter of fact statement issued by the network, informing that MY soaps were being cancelled at the end of this year.
I don't know how many of you watch soaps. Some of you reading this probably think I am completely bonkers and need to get out of the house more often. But, unless you have watched soaps as long as I have, you will never know the heartache that I have right now. I have been watching for so long, that its like I know the characters. How will life go on for these people? With characters like Erica Kane, Vicky, Dorian, Bo & Nora, characters that have been on these shows since the beginning of time, they are just out of a job now? And another thing, why not General Hospital? Go ahead and wipe out the entire line up. Go ahead! Don't be picky.
I am never gonna get to see Cole get out of prison in 10 years and him, Star and Hope re-unite. Never gonna get to see Hope be a terrible teenager. Is Jess ever going to be truly integrated? Will Clint ever accept Rex as his son? Will Dorian and David stand the test of time? Will John find out that Liam really IS his and not Brody's? Will Jack ever make it up to Shane? There is just sooo much that needs to be resolved before January and I am not sure I will be satisfied. I don't have a clue how this is all going to end, but its happening way to fast and way to soon. I want my girls to call me every week when they are grown so we can talk about whats going on in Llandview, just like I do with my mom now. Its like a good book that you cant put down that never ends! Well, that is what it should be. Hell. Even Steven has become interested it whats going on in Llandview. He is guessing how the plot is going to twist and turn in the coming weeks and is right half the damn time!
According to ABC, "The Chew" ("will focus on food from EVERY angle -- as a source of joy, health, family ritual, friendship, breaking news, dating, fitness, weight loss, travel adventures and life's moments") and "The Revolution" ("a daily show about health and lifestyle transformations.") will be replacing my soaps. I plan to boycott ABC as a whole. Fuck them and their healthy television. I hope their ratings get stomped to the ground like the flaming bag of poo that they are. Why can't they just move the shows from network TV, to SoapNet???!!! My "sources" tell me Soapnet is being canned too. DOUBLE-YOU-TEE-EFF! I am gonna die.
So that's it. The prophecy is being fulfilled. The world is coming to an end in 2012. Well at least for the citizens of Llanview and Pine Valley, that is.
I WANT my cheesy drama. I WANT to be able to watch 15 episodes back to back on DVR. I WANT my murdering, baby switching, cheating, comatose, back from the dead but had re-constructive surgery on my face so you cant recognize me because they switched actors, sneaky, multiple personality, over acted, waste of time I could be spending cleaning my house, married the same guy 4 times, soap operas DAMMIT!!!
I never realized how much I actually paid attention to my mom's soaps until I was an adult. They every so often do fashbacks on these shows and I will instantly remember an episode or a portion of a plot line from 20 years ago, and suddenly, this weeks plot line made complete sense. Its crazy.
These shows have been on for over 40 years and have brought laughter, tears, and heartache to women on a Monday through Friday basis, for generations. My mother has watched them all her life, not knowing how much she had paid attention to them as a child while her mother watched them. She grew up and continued to watch them. These Soaps have been handed down, like a piece of heirloom furniture, through 3 generations in my family. It was sure to be passed to a fourth generation. Brie would turn her head toward the television, as an infant, whenever the opening theme song to OLTL came on. Yesterday, my right to pass on this heirloom, this time honored female family tradition, was ripped right out from under me. There were no warnings. There were no online polls. Just a matter of fact statement issued by the network, informing that MY soaps were being cancelled at the end of this year.
I don't know how many of you watch soaps. Some of you reading this probably think I am completely bonkers and need to get out of the house more often. But, unless you have watched soaps as long as I have, you will never know the heartache that I have right now. I have been watching for so long, that its like I know the characters. How will life go on for these people? With characters like Erica Kane, Vicky, Dorian, Bo & Nora, characters that have been on these shows since the beginning of time, they are just out of a job now? And another thing, why not General Hospital? Go ahead and wipe out the entire line up. Go ahead! Don't be picky.
I am never gonna get to see Cole get out of prison in 10 years and him, Star and Hope re-unite. Never gonna get to see Hope be a terrible teenager. Is Jess ever going to be truly integrated? Will Clint ever accept Rex as his son? Will Dorian and David stand the test of time? Will John find out that Liam really IS his and not Brody's? Will Jack ever make it up to Shane? There is just sooo much that needs to be resolved before January and I am not sure I will be satisfied. I don't have a clue how this is all going to end, but its happening way to fast and way to soon. I want my girls to call me every week when they are grown so we can talk about whats going on in Llandview, just like I do with my mom now. Its like a good book that you cant put down that never ends! Well, that is what it should be. Hell. Even Steven has become interested it whats going on in Llandview. He is guessing how the plot is going to twist and turn in the coming weeks and is right half the damn time!
According to ABC, "The Chew" ("will focus on food from EVERY angle -- as a source of joy, health, family ritual, friendship, breaking news, dating, fitness, weight loss, travel adventures and life's moments") and "The Revolution" ("a daily show about health and lifestyle transformations.") will be replacing my soaps. I plan to boycott ABC as a whole. Fuck them and their healthy television. I hope their ratings get stomped to the ground like the flaming bag of poo that they are. Why can't they just move the shows from network TV, to SoapNet???!!! My "sources" tell me Soapnet is being canned too. DOUBLE-YOU-TEE-EFF! I am gonna die.
So that's it. The prophecy is being fulfilled. The world is coming to an end in 2012. Well at least for the citizens of Llanview and Pine Valley, that is.
I WANT my cheesy drama. I WANT to be able to watch 15 episodes back to back on DVR. I WANT my murdering, baby switching, cheating, comatose, back from the dead but had re-constructive surgery on my face so you cant recognize me because they switched actors, sneaky, multiple personality, over acted, waste of time I could be spending cleaning my house, married the same guy 4 times, soap operas DAMMIT!!!
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