No drum roll please. My ex-husband is THE douchey-est of all the douchebags. Here's a few facts about this so-called "man"
1. He is 31.
2. Balding.
3. Slightly overweight (in the form of beer gut fashion)
4. Probably unemployed (again)
5. In various Metal Bands, convinced he will someday be a rockstar.
6. Is in debt of over $7,000 in child support, it will be $8,119 after May 1st.
I could go on and on about him, seriously. I think my fingers might fall off from all the hate typing.
I call him the "Holiday Dad". He ONLY ever calls or sees the kids on a holiday.
Lets back up to our last telephone conversation. February 24, 2011 approximately 1 o'clock ish in the morning. He calls to check on our youngest (my youngest is not his, but the older 2 share his stupid fucking DNA). She had to stay up all night that night for a sleep deprived EEG test in the morning. Mind you, keeping a 6 year old awake for 24 hours was an adventure. The only reason he was even calling was because I felt obligated to call him and let him know that she was having seizure-type symptoms and needed this test and I thought he should be aware of it since the last time he called was her birthday (3 weeks before). Anyhoo, back to the conversation at 1 am. We were in the middle of a game called Headbands when he called. He asked to speak to her. He talked to her for like maybe a minute and then asked to speak to me. Remember now, Its like almost 1:30 in the morning. He said it sounded like we were having fun and asked to come and hang out. Um, noooo. WTF?! I politely said that Steven and I were ok, we were doing fine keeping her awake. He got so irritated when I said no. Kept telling me it was fucked up. She was his daughter and I wasn't allowing him to come see her. I said this was my and Steven's home and I didn't feel comfortable with him just hanging out. I surely didn't want to make Steven uncomfy. Why is it so important now to come see her at 1 in the morning but not so much as call for weeks at a time?! We have been divorced for almost 5 years now. We are less than friendly to each other because he is such a fucking douchebag, as I mentioned before. He went in to this maniacal rage telling me I was an unfit mother, he could prove it. His family didn't understand why he hasn't taken them from me. Steven is not their dad. Blah blah blah, the next time I hear from him it will be from his lawyer. I laughed and said oh really, so you can afford to pay for a lawyer, but you cannot pay your child support? Which by the way, court is in 2 weeks. He replied that he had yet to be served and he doesn't have to go as long as they don't serve him with papers. I hung up on him. Court date came and went, he was not served. Big shocker there.
Easter!!! Guess who is ringing the phone, interrupting my lovely dinner with my soon to be in-laws? Oh no, it is NOT the douchebag's lawyer, it is the douchebag himself!! I sent the call to the voicemail. He called again, again I sent it to voicemail. Sorry Holiday Dad!! He does not leave a message. He didn't call back until we were in the car on the way home and I answered. He asked what I was doing and I told him I was driving home. Then he asks if there is any way he can speak to the girls and tell them happy easter. I wanted to say no, but I am just not that person. I try to be, but my heart breaks for my children and I never want to ever be the reason they were not able to have a relationship with their father. He talks to them and tells them how much he misses and loves them and promises of a visit sometime soon. I wonder if allowing him to do this is harming them in the long run.
Our oldest cries and asks me why her daddy doesn't come to see her. I never bad mouth him around them. I feel like they can make their own assumptions and conclusions of his level of douchebagginess all on there own, when they are older. I tell her that he loves her. I am sure that he misses her. I also tell her that sometimes being a daddy is hard for some people and they really try, but its just not what they are best at. What the fuck else am I supposed to tell her?!?!?! Is that wrong? Our youngest (my middle child) was not even 2 when he left us. She does not have the emotional impact of his absence that my oldest does. At least, I cannot tell if she does.
More history...he cannot keep a job to save his life. Not a joke. There were 2 years where I counted a total of over 40 some jobs he had. 40!!! Those were the ones I could remember. Its never his fault when he loses a job. Most popular excuse :I got laid off. Next, is my boss was a dick. and every other excuse had something to the effect of missing to much time because he was sick. Yeah. He was sick alright. He would sleep all day and not get up and go to work. He stays up all night drinking, at band practice, looking at internet porn or whatever until his hand hurts or he passes out drunk or from exhaustion as the sun rises. I just recently found out he used our kids as an excuse not to go to work. A mutual friend's fiancée got him a sweet job with excellent benefits and pay. First day of work he does not show and calls around 1pm (when he woke up)and tells these people I dropped the kids off to him this weekend and never came back to get them. Get the fuck outta here!!!! I cannot believe the amount of assholery that comes flying out of his mouth sometimes. There are so many things wrong with what he said, I don't know where to start but here goes:
1. Since our divorce in 2006, the girls have stayed a total of 4 nights with him. Only one has been since the oldest has had her feeding tube (10/09) and none since the youngest has had her feeding tube (12/10)(all less than 24hr visits each time)
2. One of these nights was when I was in the hospital having my 3rd child via c-section. I got a call at 4 am from my ex (who was drunk!)and his other baby momma, drunk, screaming in the background. He said I needed to come get the kids. I was in the hospital! I just gave birth for Christ's sake!! The kids told me the screaming woke them up and didn't want to go back over there anymore.
3. My children do NOT stay anywhere but in MY care. I would never drop them off with him, and the unsavory characters hew chooses to surround himself with for days at a time. I have made the decision a year ago that he will never visit with them unattended by me, or outside of my home.
For the record, he would not even know what to do with them. They both have feeding tubes with strict schedules, take gobs of meds and I wouldn't trust him with a sack of fucking rotten potatoes. And, he has never given either of them a bath, not even as infants, since the day they were born. Yeah, and he is gonna take them from me. What a douchebag.
So, we have another court date scheduled for next month. I do not care if he shows or if he ever pays another dime. I am kinda hoping he wont. NC law states if he has gone 12 months without supporting, he has legally abandoned them. I would seriously tell a judge right now, to forgive the 7 grand he owes if he would agree to terminate his parental rights. He offered to do it a few years ago just to get out of having to pay, but I didn't want to just let him off the hook. We do not have a custody agreement legally. There was really no question of who would care for them. When he left he said he couldn't take care of himself so he couldn't take care of a family either, and that I should find someone else to do that for me. Capital DOUCHE to the bag.
So far we are on 5mos. (6mos come May 1st) with no support. I wish I had the money to hire an attorney. Wish in one hand, shit in the other. Who the hell came up with that saying? Disgusting. Like I am gonna really take a dump in my hand to find out.
OK, that is my ranting for the evening. Goodnight!!
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