I don't remember too many specific things from my childhood. I do remember VHS tapes piled on top the VCR, labeled "Soaps" in my mothers not so attractive handwriting. My mother was always a fan of daytime soap operas. Everyday she watched All My Children, One Life To Live and wrapped her drama filled afternoons up with General Hospital. When she couldn't be home to watch them, she recorded them on the VCR. It was awesome because she could fast forward through all the commercials. Ahh, the luxury. There were always 2 rules that pertained to my mother's belongings, that I can remember. Rule #1. Do NOT drink the last Pepsi in the fridge. It was my mom's and you were in big trouble if you did. (my mother to this day only drinks Pepsi & coffee). Rule #2. Do NOT record over her soaps.
I never realized how much I actually paid attention to my mom's soaps until I was an adult. They every so often do fashbacks on these shows and I will instantly remember an episode or a portion of a plot line from 20 years ago, and suddenly, this weeks plot line made complete sense. Its crazy.
These shows have been on for over 40 years and have brought laughter, tears, and heartache to women on a Monday through Friday basis, for generations. My mother has watched them all her life, not knowing how much she had paid attention to them as a child while her mother watched them. She grew up and continued to watch them. These Soaps have been handed down, like a piece of heirloom furniture, through 3 generations in my family. It was sure to be passed to a fourth generation. Brie would turn her head toward the television, as an infant, whenever the opening theme song to OLTL came on. Yesterday, my right to pass on this heirloom, this time honored female family tradition, was ripped right out from under me. There were no warnings. There were no online polls. Just a matter of fact statement issued by the network, informing that MY soaps were being cancelled at the end of this year.
I don't know how many of you watch soaps. Some of you reading this probably think I am completely bonkers and need to get out of the house more often. But, unless you have watched soaps as long as I have, you will never know the heartache that I have right now. I have been watching for so long, that its like I know the characters. How will life go on for these people? With characters like Erica Kane, Vicky, Dorian, Bo & Nora, characters that have been on these shows since the beginning of time, they are just out of a job now? And another thing, why not General Hospital? Go ahead and wipe out the entire line up. Go ahead! Don't be picky.
I am never gonna get to see Cole get out of prison in 10 years and him, Star and Hope re-unite. Never gonna get to see Hope be a terrible teenager. Is Jess ever going to be truly integrated? Will Clint ever accept Rex as his son? Will Dorian and David stand the test of time? Will John find out that Liam really IS his and not Brody's? Will Jack ever make it up to Shane? There is just sooo much that needs to be resolved before January and I am not sure I will be satisfied. I don't have a clue how this is all going to end, but its happening way to fast and way to soon. I want my girls to call me every week when they are grown so we can talk about whats going on in Llandview, just like I do with my mom now. Its like a good book that you cant put down that never ends! Well, that is what it should be. Hell. Even Steven has become interested it whats going on in Llandview. He is guessing how the plot is going to twist and turn in the coming weeks and is right half the damn time!
According to ABC, "The Chew" ("will focus on food from EVERY angle -- as a source of joy, health, family ritual, friendship, breaking news, dating, fitness, weight loss, travel adventures and life's moments") and "The Revolution" ("a daily show about health and lifestyle transformations.") will be replacing my soaps. I plan to boycott ABC as a whole. Fuck them and their healthy television. I hope their ratings get stomped to the ground like the flaming bag of poo that they are. Why can't they just move the shows from network TV, to SoapNet???!!! My "sources" tell me Soapnet is being canned too. DOUBLE-YOU-TEE-EFF! I am gonna die.
So that's it. The prophecy is being fulfilled. The world is coming to an end in 2012. Well at least for the citizens of Llanview and Pine Valley, that is.
I WANT my cheesy drama. I WANT to be able to watch 15 episodes back to back on DVR. I WANT my murdering, baby switching, cheating, comatose, back from the dead but had re-constructive surgery on my face so you cant recognize me because they switched actors, sneaky, multiple personality, over acted, waste of time I could be spending cleaning my house, married the same guy 4 times, soap operas DAMMIT!!!
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