Its about time!

So he finally did it! I am engaged and I could not be happier!

I knew it was coming. Hell, I knew it was coming at least a dozen times before and it never happened. If I was wrong again this time I had a hunch, I was ready to throw in the towel.

A few weeks ago I noticed a chunk of money missing out of the bank. Naturally I was pissed because I just knew he went and bought something stupid without discussing it with me. You know men. Well at least in my experience. They are more impulsive than me at the grocery check out when damn reese's are on sale BOGO. Anyhoo, I ask about the money. He says "I can't tell you right now." and smiles. Well great. Now I start getting suspicious, but trying to keep my mind from making that assumption. There have been several occasions he has built up something and been vague about things and I have totally made that assumption......and made a quiet ass out of myself for assuming this was it. I never let him know my disappointment. Every Birthday, Christmas and Valentine's. This past Valentines I knew it wasn't going to happen because we were in a financial bind. But, he said he was going to make it up to me. I waited. And I waited some more. Finally, February was over, no ring.

Last week, a package comes in the mail. It was addressed to him. I wanted to open it and really thought about doing it but couldn't figure out how to get the box open without noticeable damage. Alas, the box sat there. Brie was convinced it was Gordon. The Number 4 blue engine. She thinks trains come in the mailbox whenever she decides she wants one. And this has nothing to do with Mommy buying her trains from Ebay. Nope, sure doesn't. So not only was I struggling not to open it for myself, I was struggling not to open it to prove to a 2 year old there was NO DAMN GORDON IN THAT BOX! He came home and I handed him the box and he took off in the other room. He come back out and tells me he found my driver's licence and the 2 credit cards I lost (and had all three replaced), but nothing else. "What was in the box?" "Nothing. (shit eating grin). Naturally. "Well where did you find my cards?" "In that thing by your Jewelry box on your tall dresser." What a jerk. Its actually my lingerie bureau and its tall and narrow. So tall, that I cannot reach my jewelry box on top, which is where he just hid this fucking mystery box contents. He so did it on purpose. I mean, I could go get a chair or something and have a look see, but I really am just too lazy to drag a chair all the way to my room. Being short is a bitch when people take advantage it. So, the day goes on, no ring.

Family trip to the Cape Fear museum!!! maybe today is the day!!! Its beautiful outside. We are having some much needed family time. Its his first weekend off in FOREVER. Today is the day! The museum was pretty cool. Way cooler than I anticipated. We finish the first floor and go upstairs. The first exhibit we check out up there is the photography exhibit. It was cool. Tons of old cameras and stuff. The kids were looking at one thing, I was looking at another and Steven had wandered to another display. I strolled over to where he was to check out what he was looking at. As a sign of affection, I reached over to him to tuck my hand in his pocket. I do this all the time. He knew I was standing there. I sure as hell wasn't digging to find anything. He freaked out! Shoved my hand away so quickly and stuttered to ask me what I was doing as he protected his pocket. It scared the crap out of me! I asked was something going to bite me in there and he kept stuttering trying to play me off like he did not know I was standing there. He thought it was someone else coming to grope his thigh from inside his front pocket? Come on!!!! He swears that there is nothing there. WHATEVER. Museum is done, time to go home for lunch. He is chewing his nails all the way home, still no ring. He suggest we go out for dinner to Applebee's. Here we go. I am thinking, if he proposed to me at Applebee's, I am gonna die. I am terrified and silently, reluctantly, go to Applebee's. I am seriously trying to think of a way to make an Applebee's proposal sound romantic when I tell the story to friends, relatives and future grandchildren. Its just not happening. Dinner was super yummy. No ring.

I am done. I cannot believe I have convinced myself AGAIN that this was it and I was wrong AGAIN. My boyfriend is just a weirdo and I need to just come to terms with this. I will forever be in wait of some magical moment that I have built up in my amazing little imagination that will never happen. I will just be a "girlfriend", even when I am 60. That is just the dumbest thing ever. Here is my little white flag guys. I freaking give up.

And then yesterday happened. I woke up and laid in bed with him. We listened to the 2 younger kids up and playing in their room. We talked, what about I don't quite remember. I do remember him asking how much I loved him. "Bigger than the sky. Infinity times two, plus one" He laughed and said "now without using the kids' words" I told him that I loved him with all my heart. We kinda just laid there smiling for a few moments and he got up. I figured he was just getting up. He came over to my side of the bed and knelt down in my side of the bed and in just a pair of boxer briefs, he began. He was not stuttering, or shaking, or being weird in any sort of way. He says to me "I love you so much. You ARE my heart and my world and I wan't to spend the rest of my life with you." He pulls a small blue velvet box from around his back and opens it, revealing this beautifully perfect ring. He paused for what seemed like an eternity. Then he asked me "Will you marry me?" I was already a mess by then and I blubbered through the tears "Of course I will marry you!" We hugged and I sobbed for like ten minutes. He asked me was I gonna smile. I very lovingly smacked him in the shoulder and told him "See, I told you you were being weird!" Once I got myself together I called the girls into the room to share the news. Once they all piled on my bed, I showed them my ring and waited to see what they would say. Jazzmin said "wow, that's pretty Mommy" Brie was mad because Jazzmin wasn't talking very much to her because she just woke up. Solara said "Its not a toy? I only care if its a toy for me if you wanna show me something" HAHAHAHA she is so funny. I asked them if they knew what the ring meant and they all said no. I explained that Steven had asked me to marry him and I said yes. Jazzmin was really excited. So excited she put Brie in a party dress and had her carry a basket up and down the hall, teaching her how to throw flower petals like a flower girl in preparation for our wedding.

So that is it, we are engaged. I think I will just enjoy the engagement for now. I have waited so long for it. I don't want to dim the glow I have by stressing over my soon-to-be in-laws having a conniption because I want to have a costume ball and wear Chuck Taylors instead of a traditional wedding. The engagement has renewed me in a way. I know it has only been a day, but when you wait for what seems like an eternity for something, finally getting it is an amazing high. I am honestly and truly happy and in love <3